With ‘The Beast’ already a distant memory, this week’s review will be significantly longer than last, as barring the impact of the United game on Monday, the other nights all ran rather well.

LEAGUE NEWS

In terms of new teams looking to get all Ballered up, there is only one place to look! Our Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday leagues remain full, and while we will absolutely be wanting to add a SUMMER 5TH DIVISION to the SUNDAY LEAGUE while the 11’s season is over, for now the only option is:

Our NEW MONDAY CHAMPIONSHIP, which kicks off on 19TH MARCH. There’s plenty of interest coming in, but it’s first come, first served for the final couple of spaces

SUNDAY LEAGUE

The brand spanking new Sunday league season kicked off this week, with 4 full divisions and just one game off. More weeks like this would be nice….. Duno were the surprise package for the first half of last season, before falling away to finish their debut Premiership season in a respectable third place. Dench were making their Premiership bow this week, and they quickly found out what it was about as they found themselves 4 goals down at the break through strikes from Luke Newsham, Liam Watson (2) and Jack Cope. Things didn’t get any better for them in the second half, and further goals from Callum Jones, Watson (2), Cope and Newsham handed down a heavy defeat to the top flight new boys, who face Kinky Slipper this week…… Insole started their campaign to regain the title they lost last season against the other top division new boys as Team Tom happily returned to the top flight. They were already starting the countdown til the end of the season after the first 10 minutes as they quickly found themselves 4-0 down as Kyle Clarke, Aaron Campbell, Jake Parker and Jack Atkinson found the net. Andy Walker pulled a goal back on 11 minutes, but Atkinson made it 5-1 three minutes before the break and Clarke made it 6 three minutes into the second. Carl Carter got a second for Team Tom, but Clarke got his third three minutes from time to ease Insole to an opening night win. The current champs started their defence with a potentially tricky game against Kipsta Cobras, who improved as the season went on last time around. It looked like business as usual when Wes Harney gave Kinky the lead on 4 minutes, but Connor Harding scored a brace to turn this one around and Callum Jones made it 3-1 to Kipsta halfway through the opening period. Harney got his second to make it 3-2 at the break, but Jack Horgan restored the two goal Kipsta lead with 19 minutes to play. Kinky aren’t the champions for nothing though, and within 7 minutes they hadn’t only drawn themselves level, they’d opened up a two goal lead! Dean pulled the first back on 33 minutes, James Radcliffe made it 4-4 three minutes later, before Dean and Joe Lailey added two more in as many minutes to put Kinky two clear. They were able to see out the remaining 12 minutes, and start the season with a win.

It looks like we’ve got a new team to watch in the Championship, as Real Maskid made their Ballers debut against a McMuffin Men side who’d improved towards the end of the season to survive and go again at this level. Jake McConnell got the first Maskid goal in the first minute, but Sam Delgado leveled things up for McMuffins in the 16th minute. Darren McConnell restored the Real lead two minutes later, and it was 3-1 4 minutes before the break after Jack Wilson scored. Alec Pattinson gave the new boys a three goal lead in the first minute of the second period and when Darren McConnell made it 5-1 17 minutes from time the wheels well and truly fell off for McMuffin Men for this week. Jack McConnell grabbed three in as many minutes, Darren another, a randommer called Kieran who’s name just appeared on the score card got himself a goal, and Jack scored his 5th and the final goal three minutes from time to give the new boys a heavy opening night win. Prior to that impressive win, we’d have put Inter Row Z down as potential favourites for the Championship title this season, and their opening game against El Caliente was against a side who were coming out of the Premiership. The opening 5 minutes saw a goal apiece as Ray Donnelly replied for Inter after Nathaniel Odysseus-Kingsley had given Caliente an early lead. They were the only goals of a tight first half, but things picked up in the second half with Caliente restoring their lead in the first minute of the half through Ross Grealey’s goal. Donnelly leveled it up again almost immediately, and put Inter in front for the first time 4 minutes later. Michael Winn gave them a two goal lead with 17 minutes to play, but Caliente hit back again through Anthony Sargeant’s goal half way through the period. It was Inter’s night though, and further goals from Kyle Clarke, Jack McDonagh and Winn in the final 7 minutes eased them to a 4 goal victory. Wellspring reached the second tier of the Sunday league for the first time, and played Step Brothers in their opening Championship game. The got the first goal through Lewis Arden in the 3rd minute, but by the 8th minute they were 3-1 down as Rob Sheldon, Tom and Dom Cioffi all scored in quick succession. They were the only goals for a little while, as half time came and went and the game seemed to be drifting towards a Step Brothers victory until Mike Cocks narrowed the deficit in the final few minutes. Wellspring couldn’t find a leveler in the final stages though, and Step Brothers got their season off to a narrow winning start.

FC AOTS will be hoping for a more successful campaign this time around, and started their season against a promoted Deportivo Lack Of Talent who had stumbled over the line at the end of last season, and continued to miss several of their regular starters. AOTS looked to have this one well under control in the early stages as Adam Duty scored 4 and Ben Jamieson the other in the opening 15 minutes. Ashley Ellwood pulled one back for Deportivo, but AOTS were quickly back in control as Charlie Hutchinson and Steve Whittle both added to their tally before half time. Whittle got his second just after the break, before Deportivo finally had a decent spell of their won in the match as Brad Peet, Jake Riley and Rhys Moult all scored to make it 8-4. AOTS kicked on and fired in 4 more to end the game on a high as Duty got his 5th, Hutchinson his second, and Whittle his third and 4th of the game to give AOTS the best possible start. The other two games bode well for a decent League One season, with both games being tight and competitive. Polish Army took a two goal lead in at half time against Stockport Eagles after newbie Bania grabbed both first half goals. There were 4 goals crammed into a very short period in the second half, but they resulted in the Poles maintaining their two goal lead as goals from Bania and Marcin were enough to see off the two goals in reply from James Marshall. SK Dons very kindly voluntarily stayed in the third tier, and looked good to pick up an opening day win as early goals from Kyle Norris, Paddy Bannister and Danny Brookes gave them a three goal half time lead over The Veterans. The Vets had a terrible second half to last season, but they had a good second half here, as they took their chances while the Dons missed theirs, and goals from Paul Atherton (2), Simon Grainger and Andy Carrington saw them recover to claim a 4-3 win.

League Two is where we lost the one game for this week, as new teams Beercalona and SK Six were unable to start until next week. All 4 teams who played this week will be looking for better seasons than last, including Inter Your Sister and FC Stront Bakken, who’ve become quite familiar with each other in recent seasons. Craig Johnson grabbed the opener for Inter in the 7th minute, but Darius Forbes leveled things up a minute later as we went into the break at 1-1. Shaun Jemison gave the Bucket Boys the lead 7 minutes into the second period, before two more Forbes goals sealed an impressive opening night win for Stront Bakken. Is this their season? Pathetico Madrid have undergone a overhaul of their playing staff, and the new look team took on relegated Rooneytunes this week with both teams looking to put down a marker. Just the one first half goal from Jack Hodgkinson was enough for Rooneytunes to lead at the break, before a goal from Saul Heavyside and two from Chris Sinclair put them well in control. Adam Boswell did pull one back for Pathetico, but Cameron Higginbottom killed this one off with Rooney’s 5th before Matt Boswell struck a late consolation for Pathetico.

THE SUNDAY LEAGUE IS CURRENTLY FULL, BUT WE WILL SOON BE LOOKING TO ADD A 5TH DIVISION OVER THE SUMMER PERIOD ONCE THE 11’S SEASON FINISHES. GET IN TOUCH FOR DETAILS.

MONDAY LEAGUE

Sky are doing us no favours at the minute, with United on the telebox this week, and City set to cause us some disruptions next week. Only one league game and one friendly survived this week as far too many people wanted to watch the team who are fighting to be first losers this season…… The one league game saw AC Milmanchester look to keep the pressure on Expected Toulouse at the top with a win over FC Rhino Ket (or FC Rhino Something as most of their lads say when they come in to pay). Rhino Ket kept things tight in the early stages, and even took the lead on 8 minutes through a Louis Moore goal, but Singelton’s Chris and Jason had Milmanchester in front by the time we’d reached the 11 minute mark. Martin Gordon and Jason added two more before the break to give ACM a comfortable half time lead. The Ketters got the first goal of the second half to reduce the deficit to two as Jack Needham scored, but ACM were always in control and they killed this one off with goals from Gordon (3), Callum Jones (2) and Jason Singleton’s third. Jake Shaw did grab a late goal for Rhino Ket, but Milmanchester roll on towards what seems like being a crucial second game with Expected. We threw Nice Buns under the bus a bit this week, as after a couple of friendly wins in recent weeks we put them in with Expected Toulouse to see what they were really made of……. It was a step too far for them at the moment, as early goals from Jordan Milne and Waz Akram, followed by strikes from Callum Rahman (2) and Liam Mottram made it 5-0 at the break. Jimmy Williamson got Nice Buns on the board two minutes into the second half, and they looked like getting a respectable defeat out of it until Toulouse added 6 more in the final 11 minutes through Milne, Akram, Mottram (2) and Niall Hillen (2). Hopefully a slightly lesser opposition for the Buns next week!

THE FINAL SPACES ARE FILLING UP FOR THE ADDITION OF THE MONDAY CHAMPIONSHIP ON 19TH MARCH. GET IN TOUCH TO RESERVE YOUR SPACE.

TUESDAY LEAGUE

We’ve had to wait a while for a Tuesday like this, but we are finally their with the two full divisions, and only one team stopped us from having a full house of games this week. We’ve got a sneaking feeling that Gangs Of Dwight Yorke may be crowned Tuesday Premiership champions this season, as they sat 12 points clear at the top of the table before this week’s game with Inter Row Z, who still have second place to play for. After a quiet opening 7 minutes, this one burst into life after Ray Donnelly had given Inter the lead. Jason Singleton quickly leveled up for Gangs, before two Aden Jones goals looked to have put them in control. Callum Donnelly pulled one back for Inter, before Singleton and Kyle Clarke exchanged quickfire goals to leave is at 4-3 Gangs after 7 goals in 10 minutes! There were two more in the half, and surprisingly both of them came to Interas Donelly and Ryan McAndrew scored to give them a 5-4 half time lead. We were all square again when Jones grabbed his third with 15 minutes to go, but the Gangs 100% record was in danger when Clarke put Inter back in front with 10 minutes to play. Singleton made it 6-6 in the 47th minute, and there was still time for two Callum Jones goals in the dying embers of the game to give Gangs a very hard fought win. In the fight for second place, both Oooze FC and Only Kruls & Horses remain in contention as only two points separated second and 5th going into this weeks games. Oooze’ form had markedly improved since their recent influx of new players, but they were three down inside 16 minutes this week as Jack Mullern grabbed two and Brad Gilman the third for Kruls. Phil Parker kept Oooze in with a sniff at the break as he scored two minutes from the whistle, and it was game on 5 minutes into the second period as Adam Corr and Parker made it 3-3 with 20 to play. An unfortunate injury to one of Oooze’s players robbed them of his services for the remainder of the game, and from the minute Sean Martin put Kruls back in front 14 minutes from the end they didn’t look back, as Mullern grabbed another couple in the final 10 minutes to send Kruls into second spot. We threw Turkish Delight straight into the top flight for the second half of the season off the back of one comfortable friendly win a few weeks ago, and they faced an out of form Inter Mi Van in their first league game. It was the more experienced Ballers side who hit the front 19 minutes in as Gary Wood grabbed the opener, and they lead by two at the break as Simon Royle made the most of some slack defending from a corner. Turkish Delight started the second half well, and deservedly pulled one back with 19 minutes left through Omar’s goal, but a penalty from Mike Derbyshire 4 minutes later put Inter back in control. The new team ran out of steam in the final stages, and two more from Royle and another from Wood meant the new boys suffered a defeat on their opening league night.

After losing a couple of friendlies in the build up to the start of the Championship, Shaka were looking to make it two wins from two when the games mean something. They were playing Wellspring, who had dropped into the lower league after struggling throughout the first half of the season. Shaka got off to a flyer in this one and lead 4-0 after just 9 minutes, with Tom Hannan, Krisstian Ebanks-Perrin, Andrew Cadwallander and an own goal giving Wellspring an early mountain to climb. It got worse when Liam Paull made it 5 on 19 minutes, and though Lewis Arden grabbed a goal for Wellspring two minutes before the break, they were 5 down again as Hannan got his second a minute later. Any hopes of a second half comeback were pretty much ended within 4 minutes of the restart as Cadwallader added his second to leave them now 6 goals behind. Arden did get the next goal, but 4 more in the next 7 minutes from Jamie Forward Hannan (2) and Paull took any remaining doubts away. Mike Devitt got Wellspring’s with 9 minutes left, but Shaka had the final say as Paull got his third to make the final score 12-3. Beercalona made their return to Ballers after a couple of previously failed attempts, and they looked to have a tough opening night against Black Jack who had won their opening game a couple of weeks ago. All the first half goals were crammed into a 5 minute spell as James Holden grabbed a 4 minute hat trick before Ste Bowler got Beercalona’s first Ballers league goal. Harri Budd made it 4-1 for Black Jack, and that remained the score until the break, before another scoreless 10 minutes at the start of the second period was ended by Jake Whitehead’s goal to make it 5-1. Ryan Alderson and Budd scored to take the game away from Beercalona, but Ben Smith did grab a second for them 8 minutes from time. Black Jack added two more in the final stages as Holden and Kev McClean finished off the scoring to leave Shaka and Black Jack level on 6 points at the top of the table.

THE TUESDAY LEAGUE IS CURRENTLY FULL. IT’S ALL ABOUT SUNDAY AND MONDAY FOR PROSPECTIVE NEW TEAMS AT THE MINUTE!  

WEDNESDAY LEAGUE

A full house turnout for the Wednesday league this week, with two league games and a friendly as we look to wrap up the league in the next few weeks. Michu At De Gea Ba already have the league sown up for a second successive season, but Magpie will still think they should have been coming into this season as defending champions having stumbled at the final hurdle last time out. They’ve struggled a bit of late though, and despite taking the lead through Bartosz Schmidt’s first minute goal, Ian Davies, Adam Porter and Jamie Longworth fired back to give Michu control. Mariusz Koszla looked to have left Magpie just the one behind when he scored a minute before the break, but Longworth got his second seconds later to make it 4-2 at half time. Davies got his second 5 minutes into the second half, but we headed into the final 15 minutes with all still to play for. Magpie quickly ran out of legs though, and three goals from Matt Barton, one for Michael Jennison and two more each for Longworth and Porter, meant that Schmidt’s late goal was scant consolation for Magpie. Sevilla Lacatalent picked up their first win a fortnight ago, but they were back in familiar territory early on against Polish Army this week as Bania continued his impressive scoring start to Ballers life with the opener in the second minute. That was the only goal of a tight first half, but the Army looked to have taken complete control in the early stages of the second period as Dominik and Bania scored to make it 3-0 with 19 minutes to go. Ryan Wall gave Sevilla a glimmer of hope a minute later, but those hopes ended as Bania scored two more in the final 11 minutes to ease the Poles to a 5-1 win. The Exeter Gently v Stockport Eagles may have been a friendly, but it sure was competitive! It was 2-2 at the break as Michael Winn and Ryan McAndrew twice drew Eagles level after Kristian Igo and Jacob Gough had given Exeter the lead. A mad couple of minutes mid way through the second half saw Igo grab two more with Paul Waugh responding again for Eagles, but Mehrad Torkian grabbed Exeter’s 5th 5 minutes from time to give them the hard fought win. And all this for nothing……

THE WEDNESDAY LEAGUE REMAINS FULL. SUNDAY AND MONDAY ARE THE PLACES TO LOOK FOR SOME BALLERS ACTION!